It’s that time of year again! Remember when people actually used to look forward to Tokyo Game Show? Was it just me? Does anybody actually know this exists or keep up with it anymore? IS THE JAPANESE GAME DEVELOPMENT INDUSTRY STILL RELEVANT TO ANYONE OUTSIDE OF WEEBS AND PEOPLE THAT AREN’T WEEBS BUT LIKE WEEB THINGS? I mean, outside of people who haven’t played Bayonetta and Metal Gear using those games to point out how offensive and backwards a foreign culture is and people who obsessively buy Atlus, XSeed, or big anime franchise games (or don’t but beg for them to come out on PC then wait until they’re on sale 6 months to a year later when they finally do) Japan is mostly forgotten these days while devs elsewhere lead the cutting edge of gaming (HD towns are hard, guise).

Luckily for you, some of us still care a whole lot about Japanese games and that’s why I’ve put together this handy guide to all the great announcements you might have missed this week.

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Rex is pretty salty about King of Fighters XIV, as is the rest of the internet. For more info check the SNK Playmore section.

 

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NINTENDO

Uhm. I’m just going to leave this here.

Also Star Fox got postponed to next year, there was some new Hyrule Warriors 3DS stuff (release date is set for January now), they won a bunch of awards, etc, etc, sucks that we’re in death march mode with the Wii U now but at least we’ve still got Illusory Revelations Hashtag Fire Emblem to look forward to!

 

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SONY

This Facebook post featuring an oddly chosen quote from Destructoid’s review of the recently released Tearaway Unfolded kind of sums up Sony’s approach to TGS this year. They are pushing the hell out of the PS4 with DLC coming for Bloodborne and a sequel to 2012’s Vita hit Gravity Rush. The original Gravity Rush is getting rereleased on the PS4 as well, which is neat and all but there’s a lot of salt about the sequel skipping the Vita. It’s not all bad news for Sony’s handheld though, there’s other companies like Square-Enix dedicated to keeping the console on life support, but I’ll be getting to those along with other games shown during Sony’s TGS press conference in their respective company’s sections.

Also the Sony VR headset for PS4 has been renamed Playstation VR, a name change which nobody anywhere saw coming at all.

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MICROSOFT

lolololololololololololololololololololololololololololololololol.

 

While there has been no official word from Microsoft on the status of a Metal Wolf Chaos HD Remaster (they skipped the show entirely because of course they did, they’ve only sold like probably 5 Xbox Ones in the country because why would the Japanese play inferior American videogames like Call of Duty: Combat Evolved and Grand Theft Auto: Sleeping Dogs), they still haven’t said they’re NOT making one yet so if/when it gets announced in the future eventually remember that you read it here first and that making generalizations, doing poor or no research, and reporting unsubstantiated rumors as facts are some of the most important parts of being a journalist.

 

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SEGA

The house that Sonic built, burnt to the ground, and then left Total War, Warhammer, and Football Manager to rebuild while Alien peed itself in the corner until they grounded him from seeing that bad influence Randy Pitchford had some pretty cool things to show that weren’t PC-exclusive real time strategy games.

Yes, this is a remake of the first Yakuza game. It is different from the HD remaster released on PS3 and Wii U in Japan only a few years ago because it is even more HD than those inferior versions. I don’t know for sure but, judging from this video, there is at least 2 or 3 more HDs than there was in the older ports. I don’t even know if the Wii U version contained any HDs at all given that it was released on a Nintendo console and those are exclusively for children and neckbeards like myself. Expect to see lots of these this gen once everyone runs out of non-already-remastered games to remaster. They also announced Yakuza 6 and neither of these games will come to America unless you pre-order Yakuza 5 right this second.

Hatsune Miku Project Diva Future Tone will probably come to the US though. It will also probably be played at every anime convention on a projector in the gaming room from the time it releases in Japan to the time the next one comes out so get ready for that, I guess.

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ATLUS

OH NOOOOOO PERSONA 5 HAS BEEN POSTPONED TO NEXT YEAR. No surprise though, we haven’t gotten a lot of concrete information on the title since it was announced, here’s the new trailer though.

IT LOOKS SO GOOD. It’s still being released on PS3 too, a trend you’ll see throughout this article because Japan’s still not quite taking to the newer consoles as much as the rest of the world is. We’re also getting an anime adaptation too, which is unsurprising given that the anime versions of the Persona series seem to be way more popular than the games. Not being released on PS3 or being simulcast on Crunchyroll in the future is Vanillaware’s new PS4/Vita title 13 Sentinel Aegis Rim, aka Moe Schoolgirl Mechfight. It looks really pretty just like everything else Vanillaware has ever put out and I’m excited about playing it eventually.

 

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SQUARE-ENIX

Sure, Sony might claim that the Vita is dead but Square-Enix, behind the times as always, doesn’t care. Almost everything they announced at TGS this year is coming to Vita. Star Ocean 2 remake? PS4 and Vita (also it’s just a port of the PSP version but still, that’s at least one more Vita game coming out). Final Fantasy Adventure/Sword of Mana remake? Smartphones and Vita. Even Minecraft: Dragon Quest Edition is coming to Vita.

Oh, also you did read that right; they’re making a Minecraft clone set in the Dragon Quest universe.

I’m going to be really bummed if this doesn’t come out over here. Star Ocean 5 made another appearance as well; it isn’t coming to Vita but is coming out on PS3 in addition to PS4 so you don’t have to be pressured into making your older gen console take nappy time just yet.

Also they announced Kingdom Hearts 2.8 HD for the PS4. For whatever reason it’s not the 2.5 HD release from the PS3 with .3 more HDs but instead a compilation including a remaster of the 3DS Kingdom Hearts game and some new stuff tying into Kingdom Hearts 3. I guess they just called it that because it seems like a requirement for Kingdom Hearts games to have really stupid, confusing names.

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KONAMI

Lol. They didn’t really show much at all except DLC for Metal Gear Solid V. That’s right, Konami’s going to allow you to EXPAND YOUR GAME ™ by releasing cool new outfits for both Snake and female Mother Base personnel. Also you’ll be able to equip D-Horse with brand new Horse Armor, a popular item of paid DLC that for whatever reason hasn’t been done by a game since Elder Scrolls IV: Oblivion.

I don’t know why this hasn’t been done in almost a decade; Oblivion‘s Horse Armor DLC was popular enough to spawn tons of great jokes in other games but I’m glad such a progressive, consumer-friendly company like Konami is the one to bring it back. Also they showed off more Metal Gear Online, which launches October 6th on consoles (probably before they patch the Quiet savegame glitch for Xbox owners) and at some point early next year on PC.

(Note – on the first night of the show it was reported by most major gaming news sites that Julien Merceron, the overseer of Konami’s amazing in-house Fox Engine, was leaving the company. It was then reported by these same sites that Konami is planning to completely pull out of AAA game development save for their popular Pro Evolution Soccer series.)

 

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 CAPCOM

So there’s finally going to be a Phoenix Wright anime. It’ll premiere in Japan in April, with Ace Attorney 6 for 3DS coming sometime around then as well. Also you should watch this trailer for Resident Evil Zero HD.

It’s so pretty. Too bad it’s a port of a game from 2 console generations ago. For comparison, here’s the new Resident Evil they announced at the show.

It’s literally just a RE-themed CounterStrike clone (made in UNITY!) that they’ll be selling on PC and PS4 eventually for $30. HAPPY 20TH ANNIVERSARY RESIDENT EVIL! Luckily, they also announced that ports of existing games to newer consoles and PC are to be a cornerstone of their business going forward, something they’ve never done before ever.

Hey, at least we’re getting Dragon’s Dogma on PC finally.

Also this stat tracker for Street Fighter V looks pretty sweet. It’s also generically named “Capcom Fighters Network” so if SFV sells well enough maybe we’ll get a new Darkstalkers. Karin from Street Fighter Alpha 3 was also announced as a playable character for SFV and a portion of the internet got worked up over R. Mika’s nips for a few hours.

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TECMO KOEI

ATTACK ON TITAN IS HAPPENING. It actually looks pretty rad too, like a typical Musou title but with legit looking Attack on Titan style combat. It’s coming out on PS3, PS4, and Vita with a PC port also probably coming because Tecmo Koei makes too much money off those now to not make them.

Also they’re finally making a new Dead or Alive Xtreme Beach Volleyball game. Dead or Alive Xtreme 3 Fortune will be coming to the PS4 next year and will also support the Playstation VR headset, while DOAX3 Venus will be released on PS Vita around the same time. Tecmo Koei says they’re not coming to America this time, for reasons that are pretty obvious…

 

SHE’S LIKE 14

 

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NIHON FALCOM

No new information on the PS4 Ys game? They might as well be called Nihon Fuck ’em, amirite?

 

Right?

 

…

Okay fine, here’s the new Tokyo Xanadu trailer. Can’t wait until this gets ported over to PC or PS4 in like a year.

 

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BANDAI NAMCO

Do you like smartphone games? Bandai Namco sure loves making both those and new anime games that are probably the same as last year’s but prettier so here’s a trailer for their Sega/Capcom/Nintendo crossover Project X Zone 2, which is not an entirely an anime game but is complete weeb bait.

OH. Also the team behind Tekken showed a new trailer for their next project, the Playstation VR exclusive My Summer Lesson. It looks like a bigger budget, semi work-safe version of Sexy Beach.

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 SNK PLAYMORE

Can you tell which of these 3D fighting games is the recently announced King of Fighters XIV?

 

 

 

The reaction to this one’s been so horrendous that Sony had to disable YouTube comments on the trailer. Expect a near-identical iOS and Android port of this PS4 exclusive sometime after the console version launches next year. Also don’t be surprised when physical copies of King of Fighters XIII go up in price shortly after this is released and then get cheap again in about 2 years when this franchise is completely dead 🙁